Finding Faith in the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist – My Witness

Doubting Thomas
by Caravaggio, c. 1602

By Deacon Jim Miles

 
My Early Christian Formation
 
I was not raised in the Catholic Church, but rather in the Protestant tradition.  And here I differentiate the “Protestant tradition” from what can be called the “Catholic Lite” traditions of the High Lutheran and Episcopal (Anglican) traditions where there is sometimes a similar view of the real presence in the Eucharist.  My father was brought up Lutheran and my mother Methodist and I was baptized first by the Congregationalists and spent most of my childhood in the Presbyterian church although, because of the general lack of hard dogma my family was at home in a variety of protestant settings. When we visited my maternal grandparents who were faithful Christians, we attend either the Methodist church or Dutch Reform (my mother was a DeBruin from Grand Haven, Michigan, a Dutch enclave in Western Michigan).
 
So, until I was 21, I really had not thought of the Eucharist (communion, as it was called in the Presbyterian church and only distributed once or twice a year) as anything more than what I had learned growing up in that setting.  In the Presbyterian tradition of that time in which my family was quite active, communion consisted of a platter passed among the congregation containing cubes of white bread and trays of small shot-glass sized cups filled with Welches grape juice. Clearly, the thought behind this celebration was communion as expressed in the Bible was totally symbolic.  Even St. John’s “Bread of Life” monologue was interpreted as symbolic. 
 
I vividly remember what a great treat it was form me to be able to finish off the unused grape juice after communion Sundays, the left-over bread was given to ladies who were making stuffing.  I later came to understand that what a denomination thought about the Eucharist could be easily seen by what happened to the remnant following communion.
 
My Formal Conversion
 
When I was 21, I met the love of my life, Ofelia Ybarra, who would, in 1970, become my wife.  Looking back, I can now see how important parents are in shaping the lives of their children.  My future father-in-law made it clear that I could only date his daughter (the 4^th of 7) once a week and she had to be home by mid-night (for those who grew up in this time frame, you know this was incredibly strict, especially for a college junior).  The only way I could see her twice a week was by going to church with the family on Sunday – that did not count as a date.  And that was my introduction to the Catholic Mass.  I was totally lost.  The only thing that was familiar was the Apostles’ Creed which we also used in the Presbyterian, Congregationalist, and Methodist denominations.  I was satisfied by that profession that I was part of this new and very structured faith in which the sermon was ridiculously short and the ritual was something to be studied.
 
As I said, I was almost instantly deeply in love with Ofelia, and yes, the first words I ever said to her were “I love you will you marry me!” (True story.) Having been brought up in a family of active Christians and whose denomination had followed my mother’s tradition, not my father’s, I decided, after I offered my proposal and was accepted, that I would convert to Catholicism.  My wife was shocked and scared of my parent’s reaction, a reaction I honestly could not understand.  Remember, we had bounced from denomination to denomination without so much as a twinge of guilt.
 
Recall the year was 1970.  Vatican II was still being implemented but not well settled.  There was no RCIA, no formal Marriage Prep.  My formation before joining the Catholic Church was four Saturdays of one-on-one meetings with Fr. Joe Emil, the Pastor of St. Peter’s Church in Blissfield, Michigan.  He gave me a book (rather impressive in size) called The Catholic Faith (I still have it).  And we argued a bit about things like predestination (the Presbyterian denomination is heavily Calvinist in its orientation), and we talked about the sacraments and what they meant.  In the end (June 26, 1970), that morning I was conditionally baptized (Fr. Joe was not sure the Congregationalists or the Presbyterians had done it right), went through the Sacrament of Reconciliation (if I had been licitly baptized earlier, my conditional baptism would not have had the efficacy to remove my sins).  Then that afternoon I got married and received first communion (whew, what a day).
 
The Struggle
 
I realized as our marriage progressed, how little I knew about the fundamentals of my new faith and my wife did not understand my constant questions.  She is the model of faith and came to belief with an ease I envy to this day.  I read some but was still not satisfied.  Honestly, I still was clinging to my understanding of the Eucharist as purely symbolic, but reverence to the tabernacle and the piety of receiving the Blessed Sacrament I saw in my wife and others of the faithful were challenging that belief.
 
I was still struggling in 1979, even though I then knew the real truth of my faith was that the Eucharist was the transubstantiated real Body of Christ.  I was trained in the hard sciences (biochemistry) and had a very difficult time ignoring the rational side of my brain which insisted that when the priest consecrated the Eucharist, there was no physical change in the wine and bread. Even the language I read in some of the books was ambiguous using words like “appearance” which supported my doubts.
 
Thank God for my parents who had demonstrated the servant’s heart to me throughout my growing years.  I felt that call in me and, since one of my brothers-in-law (Dcn. Jim Martinez) had become one of the first Permanent Deacons in our diocese, I asked St. Thomas’s then Associate Pastor, Fr. Ed Ertzbichoff, about the status of the diaconal formation program.  It’s another story but a year later I enrolled in the program and began to study my faith in earnest. 
 
Real Conversion
 
At some point during the next three years, I came to understand that I had been operating intellectually in a totally physical world and that there was another world which I had ignored out of ignorance and training.  It was the world of faith or the metaphysical world.  “Faith is the realization of what is hoped for and evidence of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1)  Science had given me the answers to the “how” of so many things, but it had never given me the answer to “why.”  In coming to grips with this new reality, I could believe in miracles, things I could not understand on a physical level could now be understood.
 
Still, the real presence, a miracle taking place while I watched and repeated countless times around the world each day was eluding my heart.  To be totally honest, it also prevented me from a meaningful encounter with Jesus.
 
Miracle of the Locked Room – The Closed Door that Opened My Heart
 
At some point during my diaconal formation, I’m not sure if it was studying New Testament Scripture or possibly Christology I was confronted with the miracle of Jesus coming to the disciples in the locked room (John 20:19-28).  I knew in my recently expanded understanding that this event took place.  I also knew that God did not randomly violate the laws of physics.  Jesus was not “beamed down” into that locked room.  He came to them even though the doors were locked.  How was this possible? 
 
A number of theological ideas coalesced around this miracle.  “Noli me tangere,” When Mary Magdalene encountered the Lord following the discovery of the empty tomb, Jesus spoke these word – “Don’t touch me (Noli me tangere), I have not yet ascended to my Father.” His physical substance had changed!  He was now transformed, but visible, different than the ghosts, feared as spirits from the afterlife.  His substance had been glorified, transformed by God into something familiar yet totally different.
 
And now in the empty room, his disciples saw him too.  A glorified presence that physical barriers could not stop.  He came to them and breathed upon them. And they were transformed as well.  All except Thomas (and me), we had to be dragged into this encounter later and only then were we both able to exclaim, “My Lord and my God.”  Truly that was when the real presence in the Eucharist became real to me.  Finally this hard-hearted servant had seen what had eluded him all those years and I was filled with joy. (That and a little embarrassment because it had taken me so long to come to faith.)
 
My world was changed – is changed and I invite all who doubt or cannot believe to follow my example – believe there are things that make no sense in the physical world.  Believe there are things that science cannot and will never be able to explain.  Believe that the Son of God came to this world to save us from the misery and slavery of sin and gives us his Glorified Body, his real Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity as a seal and promise of that gift. 

Pax.

January 22nd Day of Prayer for the Legal Protection of Unborn Children

 
The General Instruction of the Roman Missal (GIRM), no. 373, designates January 22 as a particular day of prayer and penance, called the "Day of Prayer for the Legal Protection of Unborn Children”: “In all the Dioceses of the United States of America, January 22 (or January 23, when January 22 falls on a Sunday) shall be observed as a particular day of prayer for the full restoration of the legal guarantee of the right to life and of penance for violations to the dignity of the human person committed through acts of abortion.” [1]
 
Note: In the Dioceses of the United States the Memorial of Saint Vincent, Deacon and Martyr [USA] and the Memorial of Saint Marianne Cope, Virgin [USA] are perpetually transferred to January 23^rd.

“Massacre of Innocents”
by Peter Paul Rubens, c.1611

 Readings selected for the Day of Prayer for the Legal Protection of Unborn Children [2]
 
Readings and Commentary: [3]
 
Reading I: Isaiah 49:1-6
 
Hear me, O islands,
listen, O distant peoples.
The Lord called me from birth,
from my mother's womb he gave me my name.
He made of me a sharp-edged sword
and concealed me in the shadow of his arm.
He made me a polished arrow,
in his quiver he hid me.
You are my servant, he said to me,
Israel, through whom I show my glory.
Though I thought I had toiled in vain,
and for nothing, uselessly, spent my strength,
Yet my reward is with the Lord,
my recompense is with my God.
For now the Lord has spoken
who formed me as his servant from the womb,
That Jacob may be brought back to him
and Israel gathered to him;
And I am made glorious in the sight of the Lord,
and my God is now my strength!
It is too little, he says, for you to be my servant,
to raise up the tribes of Jacob,
and restore the survivors of Israel;
I will make you a light to the nations,
that my salvation may reach to the ends of the earth.
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Commentary on Is 49:1-6
 
In this passage, the beginning of the second of the four "Servant of the Lord" or “Suffering Servant” oracles, the Prophet Isaiah speaks of his own call of service to God. It presents him as “another Jeremiah”:  He is called from his mother’s womb (see Jeremiah 1:5). The prophet has a vocation to the gentiles (Jeremiah 1:10; Jeremiah 25:15ff) to bring a message of both doom and happiness (Jeremiah 16:19-21). [4] We note that God sets his servants on their course from before their birth (see also Luke 1:15 (St. John the Baptist), Luke 1:31 (Jesus) and Galatians 1:15 (St. Paul the Apostle)).
 
The servant learns that, even at times when his effort seems to have failed (“Though I thought I had toiled in vain”), it is God’s strength and plan that succeeds (“my recompense is with my God”)(see also 1 Corinthians 4:1-5). The prophet’s role is expanded at the end of the passage to “reach to the ends of the earth,” a revelation further elaborated in Genesis 12:3; Luke 2:31-32; and Acts 13:47.

CCC: Is 49:1-6 713; Is 49:5-6 64
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Responsorial Psalm: Psalm 8:4-5, 6-7, 8-9
 
R. (4b)  Let us see your face, Lord, and we shall be saved.
When I behold your heavens, the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars which you set in place—
What is man that you should be mindful of him,
or the son of man that you should care for him?
R. Let us see your face, Lord, and we shall be saved.
 
You have made him little less than the angels,
and crowned him with glory and honor.
You have given him rule over the works of your hands,
putting all things under his feet.
R. Let us see your face, Lord, and we shall be saved.
 
All sheep and oxen,
yes, and the beasts of the field,
The birds of the air, the fishes of the sea,
and whatever swims the paths of the seas.
R. Let us see your face, Lord, and we shall be saved.
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Commentary on Ps 8:4-5, 6-7, 8-9
 
Psalm 8 is a song of thanksgiving for the creation event described in Genesis. The song marvels at God’s great work, his creation, and the life he gave us. The singer expresses the humility of a people who, through no merit of their own, God has made little less than angels and given a place of honor. Having done all this, mankind accepts great responsibility for stewardship.
 
CCC: Ps 8:6 2566, 2809
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Reading 2: Ephesians 3:14-21
 
Brothers and sisters:
I kneel before the Father,
from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named,
that he may grant you in accord with the riches of his glory
to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in the inner self,
and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith;
that you, rooted and grounded in love,
may have strength to comprehend with all the holy ones
what is the breadth and length and height and depth,
and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge,
so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to accomplish far more than all we ask or imagine,
by the power at work within us,
to him be glory in the Church and in Christ Jesus
to all generations, forever and ever. Amen..
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Commentary on Eph 3:14-21
 
St. Paul has informed the Ephesians of the difficulties (imprisonment) he is facing, but has asked them to stay focused on their own spiritual growth, rather than concern themselves over his “afflictions” (Ephesians 3:1). He offers them the “Apostle’s Prayer." “The apostle prays that those he is addressing may, like the rest of the church, deepen their understanding of God's plan of salvation in Christ. It is a plan that affects the whole universe (Ephesians 3:15) with the breadth and length and height and depth of God's love in Christ (Ephesians 3:18) or possibly the universe in all its dimensions. The apostle prays that they may perceive the redemptive love of Christ for them and be completely immersed in the fullness of God (Ephesians 3:19).” [5]
 
CCC: Eph 3:14 239, 2214, 2367; Eph 3:16-17 1073, 2714; Eph 3:16 1995; Eph 3:18-21 2565; Eph 3:20-21 2641
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Gospel: Luke 1:39-56
 
Mary set out
and traveled to the hill country in haste
to a town of Judah,
where she entered the house of Zechariah
and greeted Elizabeth.
When Elizabeth heard Mary's greeting,
the infant leaped in her womb,
and Elizabeth, filled with the Holy Spirit,
cried out in a loud voice and said,
"Most blessed are you among women,
and blessed is the fruit of your womb.
And how does this happen to me,
that the mother of my Lord should come to me?
For at the moment the sound of your greeting reached my ears,
the infant in my womb leaped for joy.
Blessed are you who believed
that what was spoken to you by the Lord
would be fulfilled."
And Mary said:
"My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord;
my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
for he has looked with favor on his lowly servant.
From this day all generations will call me blessed:
the Almighty has done great things for me,
and holy is his Name.
He has mercy on those who fear him
in every generation.
He has shown the strength of his arm,
he has scattered the proud in their conceit.
He has cast down the mighty from their thrones,
and has lifted up the lowly.
He has filled the hungry with good things,
and the rich he has sent away empty.
He has come to the help of his servant Israel
for he has remembered his promise of mercy,
the promise he made to our fathers,
to Abraham and his children for ever."
Mary remained with her about three months
and then returned to her home.
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Commentary on Lk 1:39-56
 
The Gospel selection from St. Luke gives us the story of Mary’s journey from Nazareth, over the mountains to Hebron, south of Jerusalem, to visit her cousin St. Elizabeth, who was also with child. St. Elizabeth’s greeting gives us substance for the “Hail Mary,” and Mary’s response is the great Canticle of Mary, which exemplifies her faith and faithfulness appropriate for the Mother of Jesus, who is the Christ.
 
Mary’s meeting with Elizabeth follows the annunciation by Gabriel that she would carry the Son of God, which proclaims the coming of the Lord, and the faith of Mary before the nativity event. We note that Elizabeth is first to identify Jesus as Lord as she says:” how does this happen to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me?” She not only professes the identity of the infant, but foreshadows Mary’s leadership standing, elevating the stature of her much younger cousin with reverence. Elizabeth continues her praise of Mary by establishing that her (Mary’s) faith had allowed her to accept even the incredible role God had offered her.
 
In response we hear Mary’s humility as she gives us the Magnificat: “My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord; my spirit rejoices in God my savior.” This opening phrase establishes that the Blessed Mother gives herself to God eternally (her eternal self or soul) and completely (the very core of her being or spirit). What follows in her great song is an abject expression of faith in the Father’s omnipotence, and her own humility and awe in the face of his request of her to carry God’s only Son.
 
CCC: Lk 1:41 523, 717, 2676; Lk 1:43 448, 495, 2677; Lk 1:45 148, 2676; Lk 1:46-55 722, 2619, 2675; Lk 1:46-49 2097; Lk 1:48 148, 971, 2676, 2676; Lk 1:49 273, 2599, 2807, 2827; Lk 1:50 2465; Lk 1:54-55 706; Lk 1:55 422
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Reflection:
 
Today is designated a day of prayer and penance for the legal protection of unborn children. We note the designation “prayer and penance” indicating that we are asked not only to pray for our countries justice system to reform itself but also to transform our own actions that may have supported the current legalization of abortion on demand.  Given the recorded statistics, we know that many Catholics voted for the current (and past) candidates who, in many cases claimed to be Catholic, were responsible for continuing and advancing the support for the abortion industry supported by our federal government.  For those individuals, penance should be considered. 
 
Using Scripture as our starting point, this is why those who support legalization of infanticide should strongly consider acts of penance.  First, the Lord gave us the Great Commandment:
 
“You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment.
 
The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:36ff)
 
Boiled down to its very basic principle it means to love God’s creation and love those who share it with us.  The inverse of this commandment is a short definition of sin: “Sin is a conscious failure to love.” (love self, love others, love what God created and gave to us as conservators).
 
The practical application of the Great Commandment starts with treating all persons, regardless of their sex (to include sexual identity), race, creed, national origin, with respect due the human person who was created through the will of the father in his image. We would even be so bold as to say this should include persons with political views that conflict with our own in this polarized society.  When we look at the whole human person as being worthy of respect, we must encompass their entire lifespan, from conception to natural death. To do otherwise is hypocritical! (I once asked a nephew, in a heated discussion about abortion how old a human must be to be considered human.  He shocked me when he (in all seriousness) said “about two years old.”)
 
We contrast this view and application of the Great Commandment with the predominate liberal social view that “a woman should have the right to choose what to do with her own body.”  On the face of it, that sounds reasonable. However, let’s take that idea apart. Once the gift of human life is bestowed upon a woman and her partner (whom we presume to be her husband, since sexual intercourse outside marriage is considered a sin – conscious failure to love (disrespect of another in illicit sexual union is disrespect even if it is apparently consensual).  Pregnancy now involves three people, one of whom cannot provide consent to any action decided by one or both of the partners.  Where is the respect for that human person?  But we lapse into the actual morality of radical birth control and its impact on women.
 
What our day of prayer is focused on is a justice system that systematically destroys human life and while it claims that it is giving women the right to choose, it turns around and says they do not have the right to reject COVID vaccination even though it is the same body.  The justice system should not be supporting or paying for services that presume people are not intelligent enough to make decisions and understand consequences.  We are praying for a change of heart and prayer works.
 
Since the Supreme Court made its decision on Roe v. Wade in 1973, people have been praying for a change of heart, and it appears to be working.  We must not let up.  Pray for the rights and dignity of all people are part of our greatest commandment by the Lord, who is love.  Let us work diligently to see justice for our brothers and sisters at all stages of life with a legal system that respects life at all stages.
 
Pax

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[1] The picture is “Massacre of Innocents” by Peter Paul Rubens, c.1611
[2] These readings were taken from the Lectionary for Mass Supplement the Mass for Giving Thanks to God for the Gift of Human Life, nos. 947A-947E or the Lectionary for Mass (vol. IV) the Mass for Justice and Peace, nos. 887-891.
[3] The readings are taken from the New American Bible, with the exception of the psalm and its response which were developed by the International Committee for English in Liturgy (ICEL). This republication is not authorized by USCCB and is for private use only.
[4] The Navarre Bible: “Major Prophets”, Scepter Publishers, Princeton, NJ, © 2002, pp.267-68.
[5] NAB footnote on Ephesians 3:14-21.